To write or Not to write?

Cant think, brain numb,
Inspiration wont come,
Bad ink, poor pen,
That's all, Amen.

My first proper blog that serves no apparent function, but exists just to publish things as it comes out of my head. I have several others snorkeling around the web, all with no identity and no more content than a few measly lines of unhappily vague introductions.

Pretty unsure what to type in really. There was a time (note past tense) when i could churn out strings of jointed letters on the most dullest subjects. Now my vocabulary has dried up and my writer brain has shrunk to the size of a peanut. Nano peanut.

At some point in time , I had this weird urge totest my (vain) assumption that my writing skills were inborn talent, nurtured by a creative brain. I wa so sure o f myself that I wanted to find out (if?) I was right So I stopped reading, (not entirely-I couldn't resist the occasional, juicy pieces of work that flitted my way) and actually let go of the habit. Being in the middle of my O' level years helped, 'cos of all the studying (not that I did- but worrying that your not studying takes up as much thought space and time as actual studying does).

Come A'levels and I couldn't even write a sentence without checking it a million times to see if the words were in the right order. What was worse, exam prototype answers had firmly nabbed me in the back with their vicious claws (I start every other sentence with an evaluative 'however'). What then is writing style other than writing through a dead man's hand?

Conclusion? A much used cliche, but nevertheless, here it is- writers are not born , they are made. Some of the enlightened ones out there may alredy know this, but to me, it was like after years of thinking other wise, Copernicus finally finding out that the sun is the centre of the universe and not the earth.

I got what i wanted. And it's taught me some things, this 'experiment'. Not to take things for granted is one. It's also turned me into more of a cynic. I dont

put that much of effort into writing any longer, because, - it's just no longer there.

But (theres always a but),no matter how critical and negative i get about my writing, it'll still be one of the things i had, lost, but still keep close to my heart. I can talk to save my life,but i express myself best through writing. Words just flowed out of my pen, through my nib, onto the paper. Once.